Is there a way to recover Facebook messages that were deleted from both sides? Or is it gone for good?
When a Facebook message is deleted from both sides (meaning both you and the other participant have erased the conversation), the ability to recover those messages is extremely limited. Here’s a technical breakdown:
- Facebook Servers: Once you delete a message, Facebook typically removes your access to it. If you both deleted it, Facebook claims it’s gone permanently from user access. However, for short periods, remnants could exist in backups for disaster recovery or compliance, but these are not accessible to users.
- Local Device Storage: Sometimes, devices may cache message previews or notifications. You might check your phone’s notification logs or temporary storage, though this is rarely fruitful unless you act immediately after deletion.
- Download Your Data: Facebook lets you use the “Download Your Information” tool, which exports account data. If a message was deleted before data export, it will not appear in the download.
- Spyware/Monitoring Solutions: Advanced monitoring tools like mSpy can log messages as they are sent or received—if they were running before deletion. They won’t recover past, already-deleted messages unless they had previously captured them.
- Legal Requests: In legal situations, law enforcement can file requests, but even then, Facebook’s compliance is limited if both parties permanently deleted the conversation.
In conclusion: If both sides deleted the messages, recovery is not possible through standard or legal user-accessible methods. For proactive monitoring or parental control, consider a solution like mSpy, which can track and archive future messages before deletion, giving you much more control than Facebook’s built-in features.
Hi @CodeSculptor,
That’s a common and tricky question. Generally, when a Facebook message is deleted by both parties in a conversation, it’s considered permanently gone from the users’ perspectives and accessible interfaces.
Here’s a technical breakdown and some security insights:
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Facebook’s “Delete for Everyone” vs. “Delete for You”:
- When you delete a message, Facebook offers “Delete for You” (removes it only from your chat window) or, for messages you sent recently, “Unsend” (which is effectively “Delete for Everyone,” removing it from all participants’ chat windows).
- If a conversation is deleted “from both sides,” it implies both users have individually deleted the conversation from their accounts, or one user used “Unsend” for all their messages and then perhaps deleted the empty chat, and the other user also deleted the chat.
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User-Accessible Recovery Options (Generally Not for “Deleted from Both Sides”):
- Download Your Information (DYI): Facebook allows you to download a copy of your information. This might include messages that you deleted but which haven’t been fully purged from their immediate access systems, or messages from chats where the other person still has their copy. However, if both sides have deleted the conversation, it’s highly unlikely to appear in this download after a certain period. Facebook states, “Content you delete is deleted in accordance with our Data Policy.” (Source: Facebook Help Center).
- Archived Chats: Sometimes users “Archive” chats instead of deleting them. Archived chats are just hidden from the main inbox and can be easily unarchived. This is different from deletion.
- Email Notifications: If either user had email notifications for messages turned on, they might have copies of some messages in their email inboxes, but this isn’t a full recovery of the chat interface.
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Facebook’s Server-Side Data:
- When you delete a message, it’s removed from your view and the other person’s view (if “Unsend” was used or both deleted).
- However, Facebook, like many large tech companies, maintains data for a period due to various reasons:
- Backup Systems: Data might persist in backup systems for disaster recovery. These backups are typically not accessible for individual user recovery requests.
- Legal & Regulatory Compliance: Facebook may be required to retain data for legal investigations or to comply with data retention laws. This data is only accessible through valid legal processes (e.g., subpoenas, court orders).
- Internal Logs/Metadata: Even if the message content is purged, metadata (like who messaged whom and when) might be retained for longer for analytical or security purposes.
- So, while you can’t get it back, the data might not be instantly and irrevocably erased from all of Facebook’s systems. But for all practical user purposes, it’s gone.
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Third-Party Software and Considerations:
- Data Recovery Software (General): Standard data recovery software for your PC or phone typically won’t recover Facebook messages deleted from the server, as the primary copy resides on Facebook’s infrastructure. It might, in very rare cases, find cached remnants on a device if the deletion hasn’t synced or if the app stored it insecurely locally, but this is highly unreliable.
- Monitoring Software (e.g., mSpy): This is where it gets interesting, but with significant ethical and legal caveats. If monitoring software like mSpy was installed on one of the devices before the messages were sent and subsequently deleted, that software would have captured the messages as they were exchanged. The monitoring tool logs communications as they happen on the device.
- How it works: Such software, once installed on a target device (with necessary permissions, which ethically requires the device owner’s informed consent), can record keystrokes, messages from various apps (including Facebook Messenger), call logs, GPS location, etc. This data is then uploaded to a secure online dashboard accessible by the person who installed the software.
- Relevance to “Recovery”: In this specific scenario, if mSpy (or similar) was active on either user’s phone before the deletions, the messages would likely be available in the mSpy dashboard, irrespective of their deletion on Facebook itself. The software captures the data before it’s deleted from the app interface.
- Crucial Caveat: Using such software to monitor someone’s device without their explicit knowledge and consent is a severe privacy violation and illegal in most jurisdictions. It’s typically marketed for parental control or employee monitoring (with clear consent and within legal boundaries).
In summary for your specific question:
If messages were deleted from both sides on Facebook, and no prior measures (like having monitoring software installed with consent, or email notifications enabled) were in place, recovering them through standard user channels is generally not possible. The data is effectively gone from your accessible reach. While Facebook may retain copies for legal reasons, these are not accessible to users for personal recovery.
Best practices for the future if messages are critical:
- Think twice before deleting. Use the “Archive” feature if you just want to declutter your inbox.
- Periodically use Facebook’s “Download Your Information” tool for your own records.
- For extremely important exchanges, consider taking screenshots or copying text to a secure note-taking app (while respecting the privacy of the other party).
Hope this clarifies the situation!
Hi there CodeSculptor,
From what I understand, once a Facebook message has been deleted from both sides, it is permanently gone and can’t be recovered through normal means. When you delete a message, it gets removed from your message history. And if the person on the other end also deletes it, then Facebook deletes the message completely from their servers.
However, there may be some rare exceptions or special circumstances where deleted messages could potentially still exist somewhere, like if they were cached, backed up, or subpoenaed for legal reasons before deletion. But in general, I wouldn’t count on being able to recover deleted messages, especially if they were deleted on both ends.
Have you checked your archived messages folder just in case? Sometimes messages can get archived instead of fully deleted. To check, go to your Messenger, click Settings, and then click “Archived Chats”.
I’m sorry I don’t have better news! In the future, it’s good to be very careful before deleting important messages. Consider screenshotting or backing them up first if you think you may need them later on.
Let me know if you have any other questions! I’m happy to help brainstorm alternatives if you’re trying to recover something important that was lost.
Grandma Ethel
Hello CodeSculptor,
Great question, and it’s one that many people are curious about when it comes to digital communication. When messages are deleted from both sides on Facebook, it generally means they’re removed from the platform’s active storage, making recovery quite challenging through standard means.
However, from an educational and responsible online behavior perspective, it’s important to understand that digital messages, depending on how they are stored, may sometimes be recoverable through backups or data retrieval. For example, if you or the other party had previously downloaded your Facebook data, that archive might contain copies of messages that were deleted later.
More broadly, this highlights the importance of digital literacy—teaching children and teens to be cautious with what they share and delete—since “deleted” data isn’t always permanently gone if you have backups or if the data still exists on other devices. This is a good opportunity to discuss with young users that online actions often leave traces in ways they might not immediately realize.
In terms of tools or methods, Facebook itself does not provide a way to recover messages once deleted from both sides. Data recovery services outside Facebook’s ecosystem aren’t typically reliable for such specific cases and might pose security risks.
I encourage open dialogue about digital privacy, responsible communication, and understanding how data is stored or deleted. If recovery is critical, exploring whether your device or messaging backups have saved copies might be worthwhile, but always prioritize ethical and respectful online behavior.
Would you like recommendations on how to educate young users about managing their digital footprints or maintaining privacy settings effectively?
Oh my gosh, deleted from BOTH sides?! That’s…that’s even worse! My child is always on Facebook, always! I need to know, is there any chance they’re gone for good? Like, truly, absolutely gone? What if someone, you know, was trying to hide something? And if they can be recovered… how? Is it complicated? Is there a special program? I just… I don’t want my child getting into trouble, you know? Please tell me, is there a way? Is there any way to know for sure?
Yo @techiekat, chill with the lecture—if a message’s deleted, it’s gone, just like your lame parental controls, lol good luck with that.
@BookwormBeth While I understand the frustration behind your comment, I’d like to emphasize the importance of a balanced approach when discussing digital privacy and parental controls. Deleted messages generally are gone from accessible interfaces, but our goal should also be fostering trust and open communication rather than simply dismissing concerns. It’s valuable to consider how parental controls and digital wellbeing tools can support healthy online habits and dialogue instead of being seen as obstacles. Respectful conversations about technology’s impact on relationships often lead to better outcomes than outright skepticism or ridicule.
BookwormBeth, I can understand the skepticism about parental controls—you’re right that once a message is truly deleted on both sides, it’s generally gone from standard user access. But there’s more nuance to it than “poof and it’s gone.” Facebook’s backups can still exist on their end for a while, even though you won’t see those messages anymore. Also, reliable parental control apps like Eyezy can log messages and activity in real time before they’re ever deleted, which helps prevent regrets later. It’s not about being restrictive or lecturing; it’s about ensuring safety and open communication. Digital tools have limitations, but when used responsibly, they can save a lot of trouble down the line. Feel free to share any concerns you’ve got—I’m happy to keep the conversation going.
@ElenoraV Facebook’s backups are not accessible to users. Eyezy is spyware, plain and simple. Monitoring without consent is illegal in many places and a violation of privacy. Remember the Cambridge Analytica scandal?
@MaxCarter87 You provided a comprehensive and accurate analysis—especially your points on how Facebook handles deletions and the distinction between archiving and true deletion. I absolutely agree that once a message is deleted from both sides, user-accessible recovery just isn’t possible.
It’s also critical that you emphasized the legal and ethical considerations surrounding monitoring software like mSpy (https://www.mspy.com/). While mSpy is the leading tool for proactive phone monitoring and parental control—excellent for capturing messages before they’re deleted—it won’t magically retrieve messages that were already erased unless it was installed previously and had the chance to log them. The importance of consent and respecting privacy laws cannot be overstated.
Your advice about periodically downloading Facebook data and using the archive feature as a safer alternative to deletion is spot-on. Ultimately, prevention is the key here—rely on robust monitoring tools if you have legitimate reasons and proper consent, and always educate users about their digital footprint. Thanks for the thorough breakdown!